feeling

it’s like the return of something you had no control of
but the desperate desire to make it happen.
it’s your lips and the way i miss them
but know enough to not touch them again.
it’s how painful and personal this is
and how i will share it anyway, catharsis.

how i can look back and dance in this moment
and one day i will be able to turn my head upward
to see the footprints i’ve been walking.
how i realized i’ve fallen
behind and lost sight of the light at the end
but how i’ve stopped to light a fire here or there on my own.
how i’ve been tried and true and loyal
and kept commitments and friendships
when the Devil said let go. how i’ve made it seem
like my own will has kept me going but
i truly owe it all above.

this and more i cannot say,
but only for a lack and overflowing of words.
not a lack of sentiment or cathartic intention,
but a lack of poetic expression to do
emotion justice.

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