numbers

6 April 2010 § 3 Comments

every day you have made yourself less of what i knew
and more of this alien. strange to think that
what i once lived for is so
foreign to me now. i cannot express the pain
or the doubt or the guilt because i don’t know why i have either
or any of the above.

do you remember walking
everywhere? i never remember you saying
you hated it. i simply
loved the time we had,
and you (pain doubt guilt #1)
and couldn’t wish for anything more.

i wish i could rest my head,
back on the side of your shoulder.
i never could make you see the way,
and i could never keep you safe from yourself (#2).
this is a bit rough, but i don’t think it’s meant to get better.

perhaps i can define things
that you knew all along but
couldn’t say, because of all of the above
(pain, doubt, and guilt)
keep crashing down.
and it’s two or (#3) times that i’ve felt
like i’ve done something wrong.
one day i’ll pick it up and move on,
a forth attempt from the right way out.

i’ll leave your guiltless (soulless) eyes behind.
don’t you know we all have demons?

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