i tell myself we’re all petty this to justify this post.
one day i want to be beautiful. i don’t want to be cute, or quirky. i’ve been that for as long as i can remember. i want to make all the girls jealous and i want to turn heads. i don’t want to attract guys because i listen to the same style of music they do, and i don’t want to be a slut. i just want to be beautiful. genuinely gorgeous. i want to be as flawless as humanly possible. i want to make girl’s hearts ache when they see my pictures because (while they may be cute) they aren’t as ravishing as me. i want to seem unattainable.
but i can’t.
but i never will.
but i won’t.
i will always uncomfortably catch the eye of those on a higher plane of beauty, and look away because i feel like they’re looking down on me. i will always be insecure in myself. i will keep to myself, shy, and let others shine.
i am not fishing for compliments. don’t comment with them. i don’t want them. i will consider them lies. if i can’t love myself, then i can’t love others. if i can’t believe myself about my looks, i won’t believe you.